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Conversation: where do I start
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Started by: Christina
on: 02/02/2009 09:48 PM |
When do you know it is time for a divorce
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| 1 commentsLast comment: 07/02/2009 04:56 PM |
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Conversation: how do you know when its over?
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Started by: difficult but not impossible
on: 07/02/2009 04:48 PM |
| i am currently separated and I do not want to drag my husband along unnecessarily, but i do not know if i want a divorce but he insists on getting an answer ....how do i handle this? |
| 0 comments |
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Conversation: when is the time right?
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Started by: jewook
on: 06/13/2009 05:04 PM |
my alcoholic/drug addict husband and i have been married for 9 years. together we have 2 children, a 6-year-old and a 10-month-old. my husband went to rehab last year in late june. he relapsed twice over the last year. two weeks ago, he packed his stuff and left the state. he is now living with his parents (also alcoholics) who are enabling him to use and live responsibility free. he says he wants to come home and make things work, but has consistently changed his "plan" to return. i know that his relapse and addiction have taken over and he is not thinking clearly. i know that if he got himself help, we may be able to try to work together to make things better. but, because he is in relapse and because he is thinking he is in control and is having a lot of "wishful thinking," things are not getting better. i am concerned for the health and wellbeing of my children, and also my sanity. this is the second time he has done this to me. i have printed, filled out and had a court facilitator look over my paperwork. its ready to file. i am torn between setting a solid date and just filing the papers, or giving him more time to (in his words) "get his head straight," aka, drink, use and abuse until he hits rock bottom.
i hate to start the process IF he does decide to come home and get himself help, but at the same time, i feel like being served those papers may be a wake up call for him.
if anyone has any advice or is in a similar situaiton, i would appreciate feedback.
thanks! |
| 1 commentsLast comment: 06/14/2009 03:21 PM |
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Conversation: husband has been battling drugs and alcohol for most of our marriage
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Started by: tsmith
on: 05/10/2009 03:51 PM |
| I am new to this website. I have been dealing with an addictive husband for most of our marriage but the shit didn't really hit the fan til 2/08. he admitted to me he was addicted to prescription drugs and I believe cocaine. He went to rehab and joined aa. Well ps it is now 5/09 and he relapses every month or few months. The worst being 3 weeks ago on my sons 4th bday. Now I am 9 months pregnant and about to pop and I feel he is back to it again. It took me to this point to realize I don't want to do this anymore! I am a working woman with a great career who does not need him financially. I just feel like with a baby on the way maybe I give it some time. I just don't think I could deal with it any longer and don't want my son to witness any more fights. Should I start the divorce process after may baby is born or give it some time, maybe the new baby will help to keep him clean? |
| 2 commentsLast comment: 06/13/2009 05:11 PM |
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Conversation: So Sad:
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Started by: missinghim
on: 06/03/2009 12:36 PM |
| My husband moved out on us three weeks ago and my life has been turned upside down. I cannot quit crying long enough to get it together for one minute. To make matters worse he is so back and forth I love you, I hate you, I want to stay married, I want a divorce. I don't know how much more I can tolerate emotionally. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through, how do you cope in a situation like this one???? |
| 1 commentsLast comment: 07/01/2009 03:13 PM |
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Conversation: Hurting
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Started by: Tom-303
on: 03/15/2009 09:06 PM |
after 15 years of marriage my wife called me while I was at work at 4pm the week of Valentines Day and told me she no longer wanted to be married anymore and she got her own place and moved her stuff out. I was stunned, hurt, angry and felt like my soul was ripped apart.
a few weeks later we were talking and I told her we either need to try to make this work or just give up, she invited me over for dinner, we watched TV with her curled up on my shoulder, slept in the same bed and in the morning she gave me a kiss before I left to work, I was over joyed but when we talked that night she told me she just didnt have the same feelings as she used to.
Well we got the paper work and waiting for our Income tax to come in to file, I have never felt so hurt, alone, blind sided, I tried my best to be there for her when she needed me and my life revolved around her and her needs, I guess that just wasnt good enough...
Im told that time will help heal the feelings I have, but feel like I lost a huge part of me, the depression comes and goes, I guess the feeling that best describes this best is utter hopelessness....
I so dont want to be Mr. Mopey anymore, its just not me, I like to joke and have a good time and bring people up and have as good as a time as I am, guess thats the "fixer" in me to make everything alright, but I just dont have it in me anymore.
How does anyone deal or cope with this??!! |
| 6 commentsLast comment: 06/29/2009 10:26 AM |
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Conversation: Dealing With the Hurt
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Started by: tweetycurl85
on: 06/29/2009 12:34 AM |
| help my mom is hurting bad from when by dad left her can u guys help ease her pain |
| 0 comments |
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Conversation: i want to kill him
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Started by: A1Y88ZZ
on: 06/20/2009 08:31 PM |
| Im a newly divorced mother of 2. Would think by far Ive had the worst person husband friend in this entire universe.My x husbands the devil & biggest player dog & monster that needs to be put down. He likes the fact that i cant say no that when he gets what he wants it give him every right to treats me like crap. Im goin crazy. I let him know what his doin & he doesnt seem to care but when were alone his different. He basically 2 different people that i finally got tired of it. He told me recently that he never wanted me in the first place he will never want to know about his family again. His said other things but its just to hard to bring up again. He also told me at one point when we were married he once did cared about me but how do you care about someone when you cheat on your wife with 8 different women & doin it behind her back. Also never bein home with your family when your wife was supportin you for almost 2 years & u always disappearin at night. His makin me look like Im goin crazy for nothin & that i should forget about the pass. How do you do that when you devoted your life your soul thinkin this person is and suppost to be your best friend & stomps on your heart the worst possible way. Im emotional drained thinkin my marriage was a fake & he was never in it to begin w/but played in the marriage bcuz he knows your not goin anywhere and that ull always be there. Well Ive had it. I couldnt do it anymore. I cant change it but i would now need to pretend that i never knew him. Want to forget his name. What to erase everythin about him. His broken me down way to far now that i dont know what i would do if i ever saw him and his new special friend thats his seein now that his been seein bhind my back. This guys not human. The way he beat me emotionally is I think the worst possible thing u could ever do to someone. Almost like hittin but I think its worst. I give myself all the luck in the world but no one should be treated so hurtful the way i was. Its not right. Im surprise Im still alive. Im surprise his still alive when he shouldnt. Oh did I ever mention he left 2 kids behind & doesnt want nothin to do with them also. I know in fact that his lost everythin. No one will ever love him the way that I did & what i did for him. I gave him my life & his killed me. Im livin but im not the same. Im damaged. His lost a good woman a good wife & most importantly I think a good friend. His also lost his kids. My kids will never see their dad bcuz like I said he doesnt want nothin to do w/them. That came out of his mouth. He rather be out there w/his friends & party. I never want him to be happy. He doesnt deserve it. Only gods goin to judge him & I know it wont be pretty. He will get whats comin to him. KARMA & I hope it hits him hard. Ive destroyed all the weddin pictures & everythin that his on. I never prayin & hopin I dont see or run into him. I fell bad for my kids but Ill get it together where they wont have to worry. There startin to call my own dad "DAD".Thats fine. Hopefully everythin will turn out positive for me in the near future. I mean somethin or someone good is suppost to happen to me. I can only hope.Thanks |
| 1 commentsLast comment: 06/23/2009 10:03 AM |
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Conversation: Healing the pain while it is still fresh
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Started by: petals
on: 05/21/2009 05:51 PM |
Almost two weeks ago my husband suddenly announced that he wants out. The long story is in my journal. Things are moving super fast, as he is already preparing to move out in a few days (and hasn't been home much otherwise anyhow). As much as I don't want this marriage to end, it looks like it will.
I'm trying to get past the denial, stop hoping, and get to a point of acceptance. It hasn't been easy. I'm still not there. It's really difficult to just accept that our marriage is over. I know that I will need to accept this for my own well-being. But acceptance almost feels like a failure, like I'll be giving up on what I believe in. I'm sure that in time I will find some type of inner peace. In the meantime I just need some feedback. Understanding. Support.
The denial stage is lessening, thanks to him not wearing his wedding ring anymore. While he was still wearing it I had a glimmer of hope. Not seeing it on his finger brought me back to despair and agony, but I guess it also makes me realize that I need to let go of the hope (denial?) and start working on accepting the situation, tormenting as it will be.
Unfortunately (sort of, I guess) there is really nothing for me to "hate" him for. Overall he has been a really good husband and I honestly felt the relationship was solid. This break up isn't even over anything specific. He just doesn't want to be married any more. Simple as that. No hard feelings, and he is sorry. I sometimes wish it was an affair or something that I could at least place the blame on, other than myself, but I know that would be just a different can of worms anyway. I guess it would be easier to have a little hate for him, rather than the deep love that still burns inside of me.
For those of you who have been where I am, how long did it take you to find acceptance? How long did the dark, consuming emotions tear you apart? How long until I can go out and really enjoy myself without having the thoughts of my husband, and the failed marriage, in the back of my mind?
Any words of encouragement, advice, or your story, would help a lot. Thanks :)
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| 3 commentsLast comment: 06/18/2009 11:55 AM |
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