Over the past few days, the situation with Mark has been really eating me up. I have been thinking about it non-stop and no matter how hard I try to remember the fighting, the bitterness and the hostility, the things that keep coming up…aren't those things. Like I keep thinking about how excited we were to get pregnant with our daughter and how he would bring me a flower every single day when I was upset about my grandmother passing away.

 

 I just keep remembering all the good times and the more I think about it, the more panicked I get thinking that I've made the biggest mistake ever. So, I gave up and called him. I used the excuse that football practice was starting soon and I needed to know if he was going to coach our son's team again. It was really pathetic because the first thing he thought I was calling for was money. I calmly told him that I was alright because I was getting some overtime in.

 

 I really think he sensed that something was different, though because he stayed on the phone a little longer – paused a little longer between sentences and he just talked…differently. I just don't know how I'm supposed to feel right now. We are divorced and I wonder if I'm going through the shock or if it's finally setting in. Does this happen after 6 months of divorce? 

 

 If any of you know the answer, let me know. I may just have to post this question. I don't know if I'll be brave enough to do it, but it's worth finding out if this happens to everyone or if it's a strange occurrence. I'll keep you posted.