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The Five Best Dating Strategies for the Newly Divorced
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By: XSTILLA.COM
For the newly divorced, dating may have changed considerably since they last remember, causing some anxiety and trepidation for many when it comes time to reentering the often daunting, but ever exciting world of dating.
Luckily, it is possible to find love again, or at least find yourself back in touch, ready to start a new life for yourself, and meeting new people using these simple, but smart dating strategies.
1. Know When You're Truly Ready
If you find that you’re still harboring resentment toward your ex, or are feeling lonely without them, it's probably a good indication that you're not quite ready to start dating again. First, you'll want to make sure the old relationship stays in the past, and that you won't be transferring any of your feelings of anger toward anyone new in your life.
Second, many people find themselves "trapped" in another relationship too soon after a divorce simply because they were trying to replace their ex-spouse, rather than having any real interest in anyone new.
2. Pamper Yourself First
Pampering yourself is an excellent way to start rebuilding self esteem. Most everyone feels a wide range of emotions after a divorce is final, and doing something extra such as getting a new haircut or style, having a make-over, or buying a new wardrobe are all great ways of readying yourself for the dating scene.
Some people find that joining a gym or spa also helps to rebuild their self-confidence, or losing a few pounds if necessary, meeting people, and getting healthier in the process. Exercising at local community centers, the park, or right at home is also beneficial for many reasons.
3. Know Where to Look
Many cities have some type of parent's without partners group for adults to meet other like-minded individuals who are also dealing with being newly divorced. These gatherings are good places to meet new friends, share advice, and can be an excellent means of support.
For the extrovert, try a relatively new type of dating referred to as speed dating. A group of men and women rotate around a room, usually at tables in a banquet hall, club, or bar setting, sitting with one another sharing a bit about themselves with each person for a short, set amount of time. At the end of the event, information can be exchanged with anyone interested in dating each another.
Most people who are divorced have friends and family who soon turn into well meaning matchmakers, which can actually be helpful in some cases. Dating someone who already knows another person you also know, at least in some capacity, is a good way to "check one's references" beforehand.
There are also sports and school functions, the nightclub or bar scene, and don't rule out the aspect of the internet as millions of people have found love, or at least companionship through online dating services. Internet or online dating is helpful for those looking for a gradual reintroduction to the dating scene, and also for a boost to the social life in general.
Often, it's easier to be yourself and really get to know someone over time through emails and the internet rather than a chance meeting or one pre-arranged blind date. Besides a number of reputable services that charge membership fees, there are also a number of sites dedicated to meeting and mingling with people.
4. Protect Yourself
Protecting yourself after returning to the dating scene, not only emotionally, but also physically, should both be of extreme importance. Many newly divorced people, particularly women beyond childbearing years, fail to protect themselves from sexually transmitted diseases. Unfortunately the days of only worrying about unplanned pregnancies are long over considering the risks of AIDS and HIV, herpes, gonorrhea, and chlamydia, to name a few. Of course, the only way to stay safe to try and protect yourself from these diseases is to faithfully use a condom.
5. What About the Children?
When children are involved, dating after divorce takes on an entirely new slant, and one that should be pointed directly toward the children. Dating too soon after a divorce often causes feelings of resentment in children who are old enough to understand what's going on. It's important for parents to make a conscious effort to see that their children's needs are consistently met, and they are aware they still come first in their lives, regardless if they are dating or not.
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