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Getting Rid of Emotional Baggage from a Recent Divorce
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By: XSTILLA.COM
All too often the emotional baggage we carry from a recent divorce is enough to weigh us down and hinder our progress toward healing or moving on with our lives. Just as airplane may have difficulty getting off of the ground if it's loaded with excess baggage, we too may suffer the ill effects of carrying around unnecessary feelings of anger, hurt, pain, and resentment, along with damaging all of our future relationships as well.
Many times people who are dealing with the loss and hurt feelings that accompany divorce try to replace their ex spouse too soon, for reasons ranging from loneliness to revenge to simply because they think they will "heal" better with someone new in the picture. Not allowing one's self enough time to truly heal and get past what's happened before moving on to a whole new set of feelings and circumstances simply sets the stage for a repeat disaster.
Only when you have achieved a sense of emotional finality regarding your last relationship will you be able to fully give yourself to a new one. There's absolutely no way to concentrate on improving the future and dealing with the present if you are too preoccupied with the past. Leave relationships and events that happened before today where they belong, in the past, and then concentrate on making the present time as best as it can be while actively preparing for a bright future.
While it does make sense to avoid repeating same mistakes over and over again, comparing an ex spouse, whether good or bad, to every new prospect will never allow another relationship to fully blossom without the shadow of your past marriage looming in the background. Protect yourself but without negativity and suspicion, giving the two of you, not the three of you, an honest chance for a successful, healthy relationship. Always listen to your intuition, rather than the nagging voice that insists upon bringing up the past every chance it gets.
When dating after a recent divorce, remember not to take rejection, or dating in general, too seriously. Mingle and socialize with single people as well as couples to expand and broaden your horizons as much as possible. Reenter the single's scene with no expectations, and with the intent on finding a few good friends or companions, not your next potential spouse or soul mate. Keep an open mind and don’t be afraid to try new things, but maintain your sense of self and remember to put your own long-term interests first above all else.
Although your marriage may have ended, your life did not, so make a conscious effort to live the rest of that life to its absolute fullest, without regret, and without fear. While the pain of a recent divorce may still be weighing heavy on your mind and heart, the pain that comes with regret is often far more debilitating. To rid yourself of emotional baggage from a recent divorce once and for all, instead of focusing on what should have, or could have been, make it a point to focus on what is, and what will be instead
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